Tonight was another bad night. I have a migraine that started yesterday and I have been miserable all day. Tonight when I got home from work, I had some work pants that were badly stained, another sign of my day today. Carlee asked if she should put the dog up on her way to bed, and I said no. I had some dark clothes I had to get into the washer tonight. She offered to do them, but I said no, I'll take care of them. Well she really wanted to help and she knew I wasn't feeling well, so she said she would do it for me. She took my laundry basket downstairs and proceeded to do laundry. I could hear the washer running when she returned. As she walked to her room, she said that there wasn't enough dark clothes so she ran whites instead. I was furious. I had to get those darks in the wash as soon as possible to hopefully save them from being ruin. I flew downstairs and the wash tub was filled with water and white clothes. I was screaming upstairs at Carlee while I was trying to pull out the soaking wet clothes from the washer. I couldn't beleive she would do that. I said I had to wash the dark clothes. I called her stupid for not doing what I asked her to do. The clothes were too heavy for me to pull out of the washer all wet, so I told her to come down and do it. I said she would have to stay up until the wash was done so she could put my darks in the dryer and finish washing all the whites. I explained how I was the parent and I made the decisions. If she couldn't do what I wanted done, then she should have asked. Again I made my daughter cry. She was trying to help, and all I could do was criticize. What is wrong with me. How can I raise strong, confident children if i keep putting them down. I came back upstairs and watched some tv and when she walked by my room, I asked her to come in. She came and laid down beside me and I gave her a big hug and appologized. I told her how sorry I was for yelling at her and how much I appreciated her help. I know that doesn't undo what I did or what I said, but it's all I have at this point.

We've been having some nice quiet times Carlee and I. I have been having a rough time communicating with her. Seems I'm always angry with her. I don't know why. And she seems so unhappy. It's frustrating. Well, each morning, like today...she's come into my room and laid down with me. We cuddle and we talk. It we've had a bad day the day before, I appologize, if I hadn't already. If she's been moody, we talk about having a good day. Starting the day happy. It's been very nice.