I knew things were getting out of control when I slapped Toby for opening Carlee's tennis racket. I had bought her the racket and a bag of balls the day before, but today, I went to MC Sports for a bathing suit, and found a cute tennis outfit on clearance so I bought that for her as well. I also found 3 bathing suits in my size and bought them all. Well I thought I should get something for Toby, who was sitting in the car, so I bought him a tennis racket as well. They were a great price and came with a free cover. Well, I thought Carlee might want to take hers back and get one from MC Sports with a cover, so that was on my mind. I was downstairs and I hear Toby opening the packaging of his sister's racket. I shouted upstairs asking what he was doing and he said he was opening her racket. I was furious. For one, that was her racket and she should have the privledge of opening it when she was ready and two, I wanted her to have the option of returning it and getting a better one if she chose to. So I was screaming at him. Angry for his touching something that wasn't his. Ruining that time for her. I was thinking back to when April and Kim opened my Bostonopoly game in Florida. I was furious. It was my gift from my mom and they opened it and began playing with it. With Toby, I went into a screaming fit and eventually slapped him. I told him never to touch something that didn't belong to him. He was trying to help. He thought I was going to use her racket to play tennis with him. But I was still furious. He didn't have any ill intent...but I couldn't stop. It was terrible. I just kept screaming.

I came home and Carlee had made cookies. I got upset because she had used the last of my cookie dough. I had bought three tubs from a fund raiser and mine was the last one left. They were macadamian white chocolate. I don't like chocolate chip cookies, so these were one of my favorites. Well Carlee decided to put Hersey's chocolate syrup all through the cookies. I was not happy. That's not the kind of cookie I liked. I never said thank you instead I criticized her, again. Seems I've gotten very good at criticizing lately. Wish I knew why. Well Tad was here and he said to me, she worked very hard on those cookies. And stupid me defended my terrible actions and said...well she knows i don't like chocolate cookies. How immature was that. I'm sorry Carlee.

I was suppose to meet April for lunch at Wendy's today. She didn't show.